Will we ever meet again?

Sometimes life is just unpredictable.

Maybe it is calculative.

My name is Kumail and I work for National Geographic, and you must be knowing about my PAN card details as well, and also that I am a potent and not a rapist. You all know this from the story I told you the last time.

I spent three months in Coorg and it was time to go: in these three months I remember three things vividly and clearly – the project I was working on, the bed I used to sleep after a tiring day, and the smell of Anshima’s hair when she hugged me for the first and the last time, and parted ways (I think she uses TRESemme shampoo). I wished not to see the project again, neither the bed but Anshima one last time.

I boarded my bus thinking I would meet her, reached Bangalore wishing I would see her, walked the Bangalore airport praying I would find her, boarded the flight wanting she would sit next to me, landed Delhi ending all the hopes I would ever see, meet or sit next to her again. Two cities – Delhi and Bangalore, respectively the two biggest cities of India, and trying to find her in her city or maybe if she tries to find me in my city – it’s impossible. But... there is something we don’t lose – hope.

I was assigned my next project in Dehradun, and my flight ticket was booked. I requested my office and asked for a Bus ticket – to be precise – a Volvo bus ticket: Hope. But...I was seated with a boy who snorted more than me. I reached Dehradun 2 weeks earlier than the date my project was supposed to start. The reason was Vipassana.

There comes a time when you realize that the aim you made for yourself was temporary. You never realize your true aim until the time comes and as one of my friend said, “Everything, everyone has its own clock,”, something bound to happen happens for a reason: “You meet someone for some reasons.”

I want to wake up with a bird-chirp, see the sunrise, go to walk with my beagle, plough my field, sit in the field for some time in the evening, watch the birds returning to their nests, see the sunset, read the books in the light of the candle and look outside my window while it rains, and go to bed by a warm hug from my better half.

Money making is chaotic; I made enough money to live a simple life I mentioned above. I do not know whether I am right or wrong but I want to do that, and may Vipassana help me clear this out.

I registered myself for ten days program which would start after two days. I packed my bag and was ready to witness the beauty of Dehradun: to feel the mist, the fog, the chilled breeze, the valleys, mountains, rivers and beautiful people. After a fruitful use of the day I was sitting by the side of a lake in a very quiet but a very beautiful village enjoying the nature at her best, it was turning out to be a nice evening... and here, where I had no hope left or very little, I saw Anshima. My heart stopped beating and then started pounding. No, I don’t love her, she isn’t even my crush, I even do not know whether I like her or not...but she was right there and her long hair. I never told you how beautiful she looks. Wearing just the right color combination of Kurti-leggings. Black was the Kurti and red were the leggings. Her body got manufactured right from the best Human-making-god, who remains the best employee of the heaven for the past unknown number of years right after creating her. Her hair was touching the waistline. Her eyes were the eyes you cannot take your eyes off, and her lips might be the inspiration for Lord Ram’s bow. She saw me and came running towards me.

“Hey Kumail,” she just hugged me and my Vipassana was complete then and there. I was done. I can start my project now.

“Anshima...! You are...here?” I just couldn’t believe what I was seeing, and her hug was soothing.

“Yeah...Why? Don’t you remember that I am a solo traveler?” She was speaking while I was still in the hugging moment.

“I am here for Vipassana,” I was still unable to recover from the fact that the girl I was wanting, wishing, praying for while crossing the two biggest cities of India would meet me here. People do meet for some reasons, I believe it now.

“Great, I am an old student and maybe your teacher as well, and tomorrow must be your first day, right?”

“Yes... are you stalking me by the way?” I cleared myself before she questioned the same.

“Oh yeah, you are handsome, I have not seen anyone like you before, you are philosophical, and you are not the one I am going to get married to...so yeah, I am stalking.” she should be a solo troller rather than a traveler.

“You are not married yet?” I cut her in between.

“Yeah... and whatever I said especially the handsome part doesn’t apply. It is a coincidence that we met, but yeah! I wanted to thank you, and was wishing if you meet me in Delhi, as I travel to Delhi quite often and always wish I could find you someday.” She hugged me again, and maybe this was thanks-giving-hug.

“Welcome,” I was quiet.

We discussed how she refused for her marriage and became a solo traveler, then a Vipassana instructor, then a motivational speaker, settled in Dehradun and what not. I was in awe of her but I was still not sure whether I was liking her, or loving her, or just an infatuation. We roamed the beautiful place, went to Santala Devi Mandir, dined together and finally came the night.

It was a cold night, we were sitting on a bench close enough to say not far away. The breeze that never felt so gentle was soothing us, and we were about to part ways once again. I had no idea what to say, or what to ask.

“So...” She stopped.

“So, do you wanna thank me again?” I asked her and she laughed.

“Would you want to come and spend the night with me... at my place?” She asked me.

I could have said yes, but the fact that I had already paid for the hotel was the more important factor for me – yes! You guessed it right – I am a Baniya, otherwise who would in their wise state say ‘No’ to the offer made by the girl: I believe that no one would have done in the history. Jokes apart – I had my own reasons to say No. She asked me if I was sure to say No, and I was firm. Before she left I asked her for one thing – A date, a date that would later change everything for me.

I asked her for a date or let’s call it as dates. I asked her if she could spend these ten days with me inside the camp during Vipassana and not go to her house. She agreed to this different, weird kind of dates. I spent ten days with her, not talking, doing things, realizing myself – basically, I spent the moments of peace, tranquillity, and the best moments with her while I was finding myself. What else do you want – spending the best moments with the person you want to; time is scarce nowadays.

I didn’t go to her room, didn’t kiss her, didn’t make love with her, not because I did not want to, but because I did not want to lose the thrill of being with her, and once I was close with her body I may (may not) lose that thrill. Trust me, sometimes it is not the bodies that bring us close but the distance between them. And also, I wasn’t sure whether I loved her or not or whether I fit in her life or not. Why ‘do’ it and then decide?

There is a timeline of ours in others’ lives, where there are good moments and bad ones we are related to. I realized that I never wanted to be in the bad section of that timeline.

I never wanted her to remember me because of our bodies being close to each other but our souls, our intellect.

Our ten days got over, but I found myself on the night when I asked her for the date and Vipassana reinforced it in me: I wanted to be a good human being, I wanted to be remembered. We were getting separated. We might meet or we might not, but I am sure of one thing – when I wake up the next morning in my small cottage with birds chirping around it, while I plough my field, while I see the birds returning home in the evening, while I read the books in the candle light in a rainy night looking out of my window – I would smile remembering her, and I am sure she would remember me in her good moments list and would never have a moment where she would regret why she met me (again).

The unnamed relationship made me realize my time has come. It was time for my clock to tick to realize what I wanted to do: to live peacefully. She met me to for that reason, so yes, people do meet for some reasons.

Life is unpredictable – I met her where I couldn’t have thought of.

Maybe it’s calculative – She too was trying to search me, & life balanced it in its own style by making us meet.