Tithi (Date):-
Tritiya, Krishna Paksha
Magha, Vikram samvat.
“You’re a liar,”
these were the last words that I uttered to him while he was leaving me, and
turned my face away.
He was Aarit Vansh,
the ruler of Brahmavarta in the west
of Aryavrat. He was pledged to serve
his kingdom till his last breath. A warrior, a scholar, an economist, a
strategist, a noble man, revered and deified by his people. Never lost a single
battle, never butchered a single woman or child, never partook, an idol to be
treated as Lord Ram, a man of promise, words and a greater lover than anyone of
us.
“I love you and will
always do,” these were the last words said by him while he was leaving me
after loving me so much. He was supposed to leave to Maraz, located in the north of Aryavrat:
one of the two kingdoms in the entire Aryavrat
left for him to unite, and as a symbol of allegiance he would marry the
daughter of King of Maraz. He loved
me, but why was he then marrying someone else: the thought kept pondering in my
mind as he left it unanswered and I decided to leave Brahmavarta to move to a new city with a new life burying those
thoughts there.
It was a difficult thing to do: not to remembering him, not
to loving him, not to missing him. I did best I could but things were destined
already. He came to the city to see me. He was dying and all he wanted was to
see me. The unitation of kingdom of Maraz
turned into a battle, which was a long one and it took a toll on his body: the
injuries which were beyond cure. And yet he came to spend some time with me in
his last days.
It was the day which I wasn’t waiting for or could have ever
imagined in my life. It is horrible, it is horrible to imagine you or your loved
ones dying, and if you come to know when you or your loved ones are going to
die, life will be nothing but fear, and no one wants a life full of fear of
death.
His head was resting in my lap and he was just looking at me
with moist eyes and dry throat. I stood up to fetch water but he clenched my
wrist and brought my face near to his, it was the closest my face ever had been
to his. “This is love, your breath mixing
into mine, your eyes looking into mine, your lips closer to mine, and the
distance between us,” he said and brought me closer. He kissed me, and it
was the first kiss of my life. “Or is
this love…your breath in mine, your eyes shut and your lips on mine, and no
distance?” He held my hand, “Is this
love, holding your hand, caring for you,” he paused and he gently let his
one hand caress my bosoms, “or is this
love?”. His hands were magical and pure, the strength of a warrior and
gentleness like a priest. ‘Was he making love to me?’ The thought came while he
was pampering me.
“Love is the only word
which is not defined but may be limited by the word ‘not’,” he marked his
words clearly and they were bit confusing, but he continued, “I am ‘not’ going to hurt you, I will ‘not’
leave you,” he paused to take breaths, “The
word ‘not’ defines the limits of love, but ‘I love you’ is not defined, I love
you, I love my land and to serve it, I had to sacrifice one, and I chose ‘not’
to leave my land.” I was crying my eyes out as he was still caressing me
and was ‘not’ ready to leave me this
time. “I just want to tell you that
getting married or being together is not the only meaning of love; leaving you,
and keeping a faith to comeback to see your face is love, to ‘not’ leave you
even after I had gone away is love, to ‘not’ losing the trust that you will be
waiting for me is love,” he choked this time and spewed a blob of blood. “I just want to tell you that I love you,
and I am ‘not’ a liar.” He rested and closed his eyes while his one hand
still caressed me.
He left me with having ‘not’
a guilty soul of being called a liar, and defining love – love is ‘not’ defined by relations, distance,
intimacy, but with ‘nots’.
Arshini
First & the only Queen of Aryavrat.
